We had a little party the other night to celebrate my
turning 50. Surrounded by family and friends, the night went just as I
imagined. Good food, cold beer, great music, shots, a beer bong,
and lots of dancing....we even had a streaker, a puker and a visit from the
Park Hills po po.
Epic.
As most of you who read this blog already know, I never miss
an opportunity to let my loved ones know they are loved. Those things you
read when someone dies unexpectedly, 'Hug your kids', 'Now's the time to let
those you love know how you feel'...while very true, have been my habit
for many years. Besides the actual reason for a funeral (someone had to
pass away), the worst part for me is when loved ones express regret about not
taking the time to let the person know how much they were loved. Eulogies
filled with kind words, memories, stories shared...so sad if these were never
told to the person when they were alive. It is a lesson we all should
learn.
I received on Friday night a book that many of you
contributed to...memories and admiration's that brought more smiles to my face
than I have had in a long time. You took the time to tell me how you feel
and the words wrapped me up like a warm blanket, comforting. The 'book'
will forever be cherished and I will refer to it often, when life is hard, when
people are mean, when challenges abound...I have a book to remind me that I am
loved, that I am cherished and that I have a whole lot of people who care about
me. There really is nothing more important than that.
Anticipating Drunk Gretchen would want to do some speech
making on her big night, I wrote down some thoughts of my own. My love
letter to those who have surrounded me all these years.
I have lived a beautiful life so far and one doesn't do that
by going it alone.
"I am preparing this just in case I need it.
Speaking off the cuff is not really my thing..I forget what I want to say, I
get emotional, I rush…writing is much more my style. Most of you have
been to my parties where I read something I have written…most of the time you
all politely listen as I go on about one of my amazing daughters or about my
life with Steph. Tonight, however, it is about you, each of you.
Last night, we had what I am calling the ‘Rehearsal
Dinner’…this 50th birthday party being, perhaps, better planned than
most weddings (thank you Stephanie), we spent last night with a few close
friends, having a drinks, sharing cherished memories and just being
together. During our time last night, my friend Davis, presented me with
this book. It is a compilation of many of my friend’s favorite memories
of me, along with all of them saying really nice things. As I sit here
this morning, I have read the entire thing 4 times already. I can’t
believe it, I can’t believe what is written, I can’t believe the memories
shared, I can’t believe the blessings of my life. Am I really this lucky?
You don’t get to be ‘fabulous, funny and 50’ on your
own. If you’re as lucky as me, you get here surrounded by people
who will love you in spite of yourself, lift you up when you need it, hold you
accountable when you’re being an ass, and forgive you when ask for it.
You also get here by celebrating the good times, I like to do this a lot, if I
could drink a shot of jagermeister for every little thing, I would. ..wait….I
already do…
I can never and I really mean never put into words what this
life is or what it means to be me, to live this life, to have what I
have. It is truly indescribable to be so blessed, so lucky, so loved,
so…so…so…just all of it. Yes, I made choices to make it happen but you
all also chose to come along, to be my friend, to accept me and my family, to
surround me and fill a place in my life that can only be filled by you, each of
you do that for me. Thank you.
A few special shout outs:
To my Rose Circle family…if you guys only knew when we moved
here in 2006 how much we needed what you gave us. Steph trusted me when I
asked her to buy this house, we couldn’t afford it, we had a house to sell, we
were going to carry two mortgages but I just knew when I first stood on my
tippy toes to look thru the windows, this house was going to be our forever
home. The poor Gabbard’s didn’t know what to think when they came out the
door and saw Steph on my shoulders looking through the kitchen
windows. They were so kind, they offered to let us in since they
had the keys. It was the first of many very funny memories. We have
cherished sharing our lives and a driveway with them ever since. Joe and
Marion, Stella and Karl, Mary Ann, LuAnn, Drew and Lynn, Joan and Matt…you all
will never know, no matter how much I try to explain it, what you mean to me
and to our family. Suffice it to say, Steph and I were ‘in the trenches’
back then in 2006 and Rose Circle and this house was our haven. Thank you
for accepting us, loving us, and supporting us. We look forward to many
more years with all of you and with the rest of our newer neighbors…I am
thankful we took the chance all those years ago.
To my L tribe and L moms…I have learned so much from each of
you, so many laughs, so many discussions that really can’t be shared or even
described – one as recent as last night, complete with diagrams. I am so
thankful to be able to do life with all of you by my side. You make me
proud in how you each move through life and, especially, with how much you can
drink…I mean let’s face it, when my daughters brag that they can ‘keep up with
the lesbians’, I know I have done something right. Seriously, though,
through our travels, OSU games (my great idea of ‘let’s do a shot every time
the Buckeyes score’), St. Patrick’s Day with Jimmy, karaoke, birthday
celebrations, happy hours….thankful for it all.
To Kitty, Doodle, Davis…I mean what can a girl say to you
three, Holy Shit what a life we have shared. Each of you deserve
your own tribute but I will just say thank you…from the bottom of my heart,
thank you. Never wavering in your loyalty to me, countless (and I mean
countless) nights out and girls trips with shenanigans I can’t even begin to
try to remember all of them. Dancing, crop dusting, not giving two shits
who is looking at us or what anyone thinks as we celebrate over and over and
over again…most of the time we don’t even know what we are celebrating, yet the
laughs continue. Through marriage, divorce, heartbreak, new loves, kids,
sports, marathons, new jobs, retirement, illness, RV trips, and other
adventures….we have shared it all. I love you from the depths of my heart
and can’t wait to see what we get into next.
Mom and Dad….what can I ever say to the people who have
given me so much? I hope to be you guys some day…still loving each other
after almost 60 years of marriage, a life well lived of generosity and
compassion. I am who I am because of you. I have what I have
because of you. You are my heroes and I am so proud to be your
daughter.
Nat, Val, Kenny and the rest of Steph’s family --- thanks
for trusting Steph and supporting her when she told you she was moving to KY to
be with me and my three little girls. I will never forget, never forget,
what you provided me and the girls all those years ago. To those of you
who don’t know the Belt/Hay family…you are missing out. The most
accepting, generous, supportive people you will ever find. I hope and
pray my daughters will find a way to be like you and create a life like you
have. When you are a part of this family, you are never alone.
To my amazing daughters….besides being able to drink like
the lesbians, you all have accomplished so much. I love our
relationships, I love watching you navigate life. My hard work is done as
your lives are now your own, I will always be here for you, you know that but I
know you have what it takes to do anything you want. Thank you for being
here and for doing your part to make my bday weekend so special. Love you
all so much.
And finally, to my Stephie…never ever did I think that I
would be standing here, in our beautiful home, with your family and my family
present, surrounded by mutual friends….celebrating anything, let alone my 50th
birthday. We did this, we made this happen, we both took a chance and
here we are. Since I am old now, I have been doing some reminiscing, like
old people do and I truly don’t know how we survived those first few years
especially, then the child rearing years…we held on tight I suppose and made
the choice, every day even when we didn’t want to, to stay. You made this
house a home, you are relentless in your hard work, even when you ‘retire’ you
still work more than anyone I know. You are my rock, my soft place,
my listening ear and the one person that I want to call when the news is good
and especially when the news is bad. I am so lucky for all you have given
me. Thank you for this special weekend and for gathering all the people I
love into one place.
Now it is time to drink and, of course, dance."
If you
take anything away from the post, let it be to take to the time to let those
important to you know how you feel. Whether a card, a phone call, a text
message or a speech...do it and do it now. I promise you will never
regret saying the words.
